One month of break I got back home to family. While helping out on my sister's preperation for her wedding, my mind went thinking of what I really want to do in life but En Zo and Callie never fail to make me feel alone at home. And with the tv and internet at home, I never seem to be free to think. Nevertheless, I always know what I don't want to do.
Got a call from some unknown company asking if I am interested to get a job as an Admin, I rejected immediately. Few weeks later, I got a call again, telling me that they haven't found a suitable candidate. I was slowly persuaded to undergo a phone interview. Indeed, I went through it then they told me to go for a second interview. To travel up to KL for a job that I don't quite want is a huge reluctance. But my positivity says that I should go and have a look as I have not clearly understand the job position and its scope.
When life is unprogressive, tiny problems and decisions are as if trains rushing towards you and it is going to crash on you before you know to think of a solution. I told my family and friends about this dilemma-to-go-for-an-interview-when-it's-a
My trip home this time changes my mind and slowly come to understand what family means. Though unproductive, I feel the flavors in friends and family relationship. I strongly agree as the Chinese proverb says 'Every family has it's very own bible'. It used to be frustrating when they try to make decisions for you but becomes and ease when you need one. It used to be anger when they try to tell you what you're doing is wrong but they can't stop you for doing what you want because they are simply supportive. Often like a typical famy that doesn't have an inner discussions about life, their words might sound wrong to you and that's because they don't know how to show you the right manner. I like how Jeanette says it 'Your family can make 9 wrongs but 1 right will be the rightest of all'.
Last night En Zo and I were sitting on a couch watching the TV. He acted like nobody's talking when he was told to go and bath.
Me : En Zo, go and bath. I'll wait for you here then we will watch cartoons.
En Zo : (Acts like nobody's talking)
Me : Be good and hurry now.
En Zo : (No response)
Me : I'm leaving to somewhere far tomorrow to work for a long, long time.
En Zo : (Turns to me) Ha? Go where?
Me : To work. Somewhere far, far away. I will only come back after a long while.
En Zo : (Turns to the TV)
A few seconds later, En Zo grabbed a pillow, placed on my lap and sleeps on me. And said nothing.
One thing for sure is that Admin is not a job I want, my friends said 'I can't imagine Ley-Lynn working as an... admin???'. But as supportive as they are, our conversations ended with 'Do what you want to do until you know that you're not feeling right about it'.